Some New Signs and Symptoms:

I have been having pain in my bones off and on… however now it is constant.

The pain started only in my hip… I thought I had pinched something… it was there for 2 days… then it went away… then it started back up in my arms and legs along with my knees and my elbows… these would come and go as well… well now the pain is more intense and is in my pelvis and the tail bone, along with my elbows, knees, legs and arms… It’s a BITCH to say the least! This by the way is a HUGE sign that the cancer is in the bones… it has spread… this is common for small cell lung cancer.

I thought the pain in my back and chest was bad… I rather have that any day than have to deal with this numbing aching pain in my bones any day of the month!

I was in the shower yesterday… I love my showers steaming hot… I was warm and I noticed my fingernails were purple… I called in Donavan, asked if I was seeing wrong… He told me they were purple… I told him that’s not right! They are only purple on me when I am chilled to the bone… obviously I wasn’t… Today they are still purple… I looked it up on the internet and it stated its common in lung cancer victims… lack of oxygen in the blood… once the cancer reaches the bones, the haemoglobin (which is the oxygen in the blood) isn’t produced enough and or the cancer is taking the place of the haemoglobin. This is also called Anaemia…

I slept most of the day yesterday… I was just exhausted… I hated it! Today I am still exhausted… the ache in the bones refuse to leave… the headaches refuse to leave as well… I guess I am just going to have to grow to accustom to this pain…

Donavan is constantly looking for any other reasons behind my condition… he’s getting frustrated because he can’t find it… not unless he actually looks up lung cancer… in which he is trying to avoid… I don’t know what to do for him… I want to calm him down… I have always told him when ever something has come up in our lives that it will be ok… I have always been right… that’s because I have listened to my inner self… now when he asks… I can’t tell him it’s going to be ok… because my inner self tells me other wise… I keep thinking maybe I will tell him it will be ok… that life will go on… with out me… that it self is not a lie… but that is what I am good at… playing semantics… that’s what Donavan says… I have noticed that in fact, especially with my teacher… it’s a habit I picked up on the way of living…I actually like doing it… it gets my brain going…